Grace Enables

Every Sunday morning a group of people walk into this building tied hand and foot
It’s embarrassing for them, because they are very aware of people looking at them
Even though nobody says a word, they can feel the stares, sense the disapproval

It’s not only embarrassing, its uncomfortable
The ropes that bind them are painful
They make it hard to walk, hard to listen, it’s almost impossible to get comfortable

Those ropes are the ropes of their past
I hesitate to say that the ropes are not real, because they are very real to the one wearing them
They make happiness and enjoyment a distant memory
When you have those ropes around your wrists, you are convinced that you don’t deserve happiness
God can’t, won’t use your life in any significant way – you have eliminated that possibility with your past failures

I want to talk to you this morning about grace
God’s unconditional love that responds to your past with complete forgiveness
Not for a minute has he expected perfection out of you
In fact He intends to use your life for amazing things
He already is using your life for amazing things

It is hard to miss God’s habit of using people with questionable backgrounds for his purpose
It demonstrates his grace!

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” II Corinthians 4:7

Do you wonder if Rahab is bothered by the label “prostitute” being attached to her name?
She was a prostitute, but she was also a great woman of faith, married a great leader in the Jewish nation
Why can’t she be known as Rahab the mother of Boaz, who married Ruth

How about her buddies in Hebrews 11

Gideon – the leader who had no confidence and had to be begged by God to serve
Barak who was so timid he wouldn’t go into battle without Deborah beside him
Samson, whose sexual appetite cost him everything he had, including his life
Jephthah will always be remembered for his impulsive vow

Have you made any stupid promises, commitments?
Something that you have spent the rest of your life paying for?
Maybe you would like to stand by Jephthah when you get to heaven

I challenge you to look back through the pages of history and do the research
God has a habit of using people with questionable backgrounds for his purpose
Because it demonstrates his grace!

Grace enables
Grace takes broken people and uses them for great things
Grace gives you the ability to minister after failure
Grace finds people in life’s dumpster and puts a suit on them and places them on a stage of
incredible purpose

God redeems our past by...
Offering unconditional forgiveness

God is able to “save completely” those who come to him Hebrews 7:25
When God forgives he “remembers your sin no more” Hebrews 10:17

Heaven doesn’t keep a copy of your past sins
Those were deleted the moment you confessed and asked for forgiveness
If they still come back to mind, it isn’t God who is reminding you, it is the Devil
I saw a great T-shirt one time, maybe you have seen it as well, “The next time the Devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future”

God replaces your self-confidence with God-confidence
Life has a way of humbling you

Every Type A personality discovers in time that
God is in control
You eventually find yourself in situations where you can’t save the day
You can’t talk your way out of the problem
You can’t work hard enough to rescue the sinking ship
God is your only hope

And it is in those dark hours that you learn that God is a very good hope
That he is able
That he always keeps his promises
That he brings you through and gives you better than you deserved

And, as miserable as our records are, he trusts us to carry his message of hope and restoration
Ask Rahab, Gideon, Barak, Samson, David, Samuel
It will never be your failures that hold you back, only your limited faith!

Faith is your confidence that God knew you were going to crash and burn and he wasn’t worried
Faith is your confidence that God had planned ahead for forgiveness – that was the easy part
The hard part would be convincing you that it was real and unconditional

I have often thought of the very public conversation between Jesus and Peter at the Last Supper
“This very night all of you will fall away on account of me”
Peter was indignant, “I would die for you”

“Simon, Simon (no Peter this time – in the next few hours he wasn’t going to be Jesus’ “Rock”), Satan has asked to sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith will not fail
After you come back, take care of your brothers”

Those words “after you come back” stayed with Peter for the rest of his life
It is near the end of his life that he writes his letters to the church

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” I Peter 5:10-11

Are you at an “after” moment in your life?
There is enough grace for you
Grace that redeems the past
And enables you to be a messenger of hope and restoration

Grace Protects

One of the great challenges in life is learning to say “no” to sin
Grace protects us by teaching us how!

“For the grace of God...teaches us to say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” Titus 2:11-12

What helps you say no to sin?

Guilt helps
Shame, Self-disgust
It is brought on by the Holy Spirit’s conviction
He nudges our conscience and we get that sick feeling and we know something needs to change
But guilt alone doesn’t have the power to change us
We can handle guilt - shove it down, step on it, bury it with medication, food, sleep

Fear helps
That also comes from God
“It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” Hebrews 10:31

Hell wasn’t some preacher’s creation
It is God’s punishment for the devil and his angels
And the eternal destiny of all who reject him

It is a motivator for us
When I preach a sermon that mentions hell, many come to me and thank me
“I needed that”

But we can handle fear
Soon our weakness gives way in spite of fear

The best motivator is grace
It teaches us to say no to sin

I will never forget a lie I told in 5th grade
I had a teacher that was one of those two or three great ones you get in a lifetime
You have a special connection with them – admire them, work hard to please them

My fifth grade teacher was like that
She was an older woman
I remember her reading us the book “Where the Red Fern Grows”

I came to class unprepared – my math homework wasn’t finished
Instead of admitting it, I lied and said I had left it at home
During recess she went through my math book and found it incomplete
She took me to the back of the room where we could have some privacy, and was holding my math book
She opened it and showed me the unfinished page
“You lied to me”

“I’m sorry”
I stayed after school that day, and finished my math paper
When I handed it in, she simply said, “Thank you” and never mentioned it again
She had given me grace: Unconditional love that responds with full forgiveness

I did not lie to her again
Though her forgiveness was easily given, I did not want to disappoint her again

God is easily as wise as my fifth grade teacher
He knows the power of guilt, fear, punishment
He prefers grace
Guilt, fear and punishment only change our behavior, and temporarily at best
God wants to protect us from the heartache of sin, so he gives us grace
Grace protects us from heartache in a way that guilt and fear cannot
And God wants to protect us

Our problem is the “loophole” of forgiveness offered by grace
It is easy to choose sin, planning to return to doing right at a later day!

W.H Auden writes in his poem “For the Time Being”
“I like committing crimes. God likes forgiving them. Really the world is admirably arranged”

We live that way
If you are living a lie right now, you are doing so with the plan, "I will straighten this out"

It is possible to do as Jude 1:4 warns “change the grace of God into a license for immorality”

If you are tired of the stress and heartache that comes with sin, try grace
I Peter 5:6 “Humble yourselves therefore under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”

You will discover that the problem with sin was you
Not circumstances
Not people who have wronged you
Not temptation
The problem with sin was you
Your heart

The only thing that changes your heart is grace
Not guilt, not fear - they only change your behavior, and temporarily
God wants to change your heart so you are protected from falling again

He offers full forgiveness, and gives your hope back, lifts you up

Grace Saves

“He is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” II Peter 3:9 (NLT)

From the Old Testament of the Bible comes a story of incredible pain
Painful, not as much for the listener, but for the one who told it
God understands that no one tells a story better than someone who has lived it

So, God asked his prophet Hosea to do something no parent would ever ask
To marry an openly promiscuous woman
A woman with a reputation of being available, a woman with a history of adultery

For Hosea, it had to have been exciting in the beginning
Who wouldn’t want Gomer
She was hot
Her every move communicated sexual interest
Her eyes said, “I want you” to every guy she looked at

So he married her
And a pain he could never have dreamed of entered his life
He gave her his entire heart
But she had no heart to give him back
There was something broken inside her that all his love couldn’t fix
She could give him her body, but never her heart
No one could ever touch her heart
But her body was available for every man who gave her an admiring glance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaHhWTahYQM

You know the meaning behind the story
Hosea, the wounded husband, was living out a story that wasn’t his alone

God explained to Hosea
I want you to live my story, experience it with me
Then you can tell the people how I really feel
Because you will feel it as well

Before living this, Hosea was probably like you and me
Convinced that God was a non-involved judge
Making the rules and carrying out the punishment
Unaffected by the pain of our disobedience

Watching us sin with an attitude of disgust
Then handing us a painful punishment to teach us a lesson with no more emotion than a judge in traffic court
“That will be $200 plus $50 court costs
Will you be able to pay that today Mr. Heese?”

God isn’t detached
His heart is attached to ours
He can’t let us go
He can’t toughen up and deal with our decision to choose another path in life
He wants us back

The story of God and mankind is a mirror of your story
A journey from innocence to guilt
“where sin increased, grace increased all the more”
Romans 5:20-21

Every one of us has struggled with the question, “Why is there evil?”
Few of us struggle with the question, “Why am I evil?”

When we look at the Adam and Eve story, it is usually from their perspective
We read the conversation with Eve and Satan, and wonder how she could have fallen for it
We follow her choice to take the bite of the apple, and dismiss it as a minor act
She was just impulsive, curious, unaware
This was no premeditated, violence act of defiance against God

She was as innocent as a two-year old picking up a piece of candy off the table
God should have been smarter than to leave it out where she would see it

But as her life progressed, she became more expert at her sin
Planning it in advance, being sneaky, acting out of bitterness and anger

Her story isn’t a lot different than yours
Your first lies were innocent and almost humorous
Your first theft would probably have been a winner on America’s Funniest Videos

I was watching my grandson and counseling with a friend in my living room at the same time
The little guy was on my bed, watching Dumbo, and probably safe for at least an hour
I heard a cupboard door open, and box hit the floor
He was into Grandma’s cookies

When my friend left a little later, I walked into the bedroom
“Did you get cookies without asking?”
His eyes went to the package on the nightstand
There was chocolate on his face
And his little mind was working furiously on a defense

Do you remember your first boy-girl encounter in adolescence?
You were nervous, scared, surprised at the feelings you felt
And a door was opened in your life that has never shut

You became an expert liar
An accomplished thief
Your sexual appetite grew and wouldn’t be denied

As your life moved from innocence to guilt
As you discovered the attraction of sin, and willingly volunteered for the excitement, risking the punishment promised
God turned up the grace output

Grace is unconditional love that responds with full forgiveness
Undeserved favor

Jim Cymbala leads the Brooklyn Tabernacle, a congregation in the inner city
Because of their location, they have a lot of diversity in their congregation
From the wealthy to the poorest of the poor

A few years ago on an Easter, Jim preached several times to a packed house
And he was done for the day
Many had come to the front for prayer after his last message of the morning, and while counselors talked with them, he sat down with his feet hanging over the edge of the stage, loosening his tie, relaxing and taking it all in
From the back came a man who was clearly from the streets, and he walked up to Jim
His aroma preceded him, but Jim was used to that

He asked the man his name, and the man responded “David”
Jim wanted to be kind and help the man out, so he asked, “How long have you been on the
street?”
“Six years”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty two”
“Where did you stay last night?”
“Abandoned truck”

Jim had to turn his head to breathe
This guy was at the bottom – missing teeth, alcohol on his breath, eyes bloodshot and glazed
over”

The church has a policy that they don’t give anyone cash, they offer to take them to eat
But this was Easter, and Jim had a family dinner waiting for him
He reached into his wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill
“Get yourself some lunch, David”

David pushed his hand with the ten in it away and said, “I don’t want your money. I want this Jesus, the One you were talking about, because I’m not going to make it. I’m going to die on the street.”
Jim was embarrassed and ashamed of himself
This man wanted Jesus, and he was wanting to get rid of him with a ten dollar bill

Jim said, “I forgot all about David, and I began to ask God to forgive me”
“I couldn’t help it, but my eyes filled up with tears. Now I was even more embarrassed”
Seeing Jim’s tears, the homeless man began to cry as well, and soon he and David were embracing
David became a Christian that day, and his life changed dramatically
He began to memorize verses from the Bible
Soon, he was quoting entire chapters

The church hired him to help out with cleaning and maintenance
They helped him find a place to live, sent him to a dental surgeon to get his teeth fixed
He spent Thanksgiving at Jim’s house, then Christmas
He gave Jim a white handkerchief as a gift – all he could afford

David is now serving as an Associate Pastor in a sister church in Newark
Saved by grace

Reconciliation begins with a decision in the heart
And on it’s way home, it finds grace!
“By grace are you saved, through faith”
Ephesians 2:8-9

The Church is a Body

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it”
I Corinthians 12:27

30 times the Bible compares the church to a body
“The body of Christ”
“You were baptized into one body”
“There is one body”
“You are members together of one body”

When God was searching for the visual aid – the object lesson – to teach us what the church is supposed to be like
He chose the body
He knew you could understand that visual aid – you live in a body

You fed it this morning
Washed it, dressed it up, looked in the mirror and tried to straighten the mop you wear on top of it, maybe shaved some fur off, maybe put on some makeup
A little jewelry, a pair of socks, a pair of shoes

How do you feel about your body
Did you catch sight of yourself in the mirror this morning and it was so good you had to take a
second look?
Would you have the courage to walk the catwalk with a hundred pair of eyes noticing every detail
Probably not

Nobody is very happy with their own body
But the body is God’s object lesson to help you understand the church!
The body is a great object lesson when we are thinking about the church and how it works
In the best of times its a little flawed, a few embarrassing parts
But an important part of each of our lives

We are bound together by memories, values, marriages
We are a body

As a church we function together naturally
We notice each other, smile, talk about the things we have in common
The responsibilities that need to be taken care of to function well, we share
We naturally behave and work together
It’s so smooth, we almost take it for granted

To make all this happen takes a few things that we don’t consider very often
It takes a leader to unite us, and he has
We all share a relationship with Christ that naturally unites us
We were baptized by the Holy Spirit into this body – we each made a commitment to God

An outward, visible statement of our will
I was talking with a young man who had attended our services for a couple months
“Would you consider yourself a Christian?”
“I don’t know. My brother is a Buddhist, and I’m not really interested in that.”
“Would you like to learn about being a Christian?”
“No thanks. I kind of like free-lancing it.”
“What troubles you about Christians?”

And, he had a few things
I have a few things that trouble me about Christians, too
But I really like the guy we follow
So, many years ago, when given the challenge, I was baptized – I committed my life to Him

So did you
And that commitment to him unites us
That commitment to him unites us with believers all around the world
We are all parts of a big body
Jesus is the head, and we are his body

It makes us feel good to know that 1/3 of the world’s population is with us in that commitment
That in every nation, every major city, almost every town of any size
There are others who are singing this morning
Praying for each other
Praying for their neighbors

We don’t have to do it all
We don’t have to do what everyone else is doing
If we are different, it doesn’t make us less valuable, less hip, less committed
We are unique, a one-of-a-kind group

You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing
If you are different, it doesn’t mean you are in the wrong church
If you ever start a sentence, “I’m the only one around here who…” you are acknowledging the important place you have in the body
That is what life is like in a body
Imagine the brain saying, “I’m the only one around here who thinks. I think I would fit in better somewhere else.”
Or the liver saying, “I’m the only one around here who care enough about the blood to filter it. I think I should go somewhere else where I can find organs with similar interests to mine.”
Being different doesn’t make you less valuable, less hip, or more hip

Comparing parts is harmful...
You lose focus on your own responsibility
And miss the blessing of working as a team!

I Corinthians 12 points out the adjustments you need to make in the way you think if you are going to function in the church
You are going to feel insecure about thinking and looking differently than others
The church needs your viewpoint and input
You are going to feel superior because you can do some things better than others can
The church needs you to serve with humility
You are going to feel out of place
God arranged for you to be here

Join the body
Get over yourself and choose to love the people God has placed you with
Suffer with those who suffer
And rejoice with those who are honored!

The Purity Principle: Faithful to You

In the earliest recorded history of the European nations – at that time called Celtic or Slavic kingdoms – marriage ceremonies were built around a practice called “handfasting”
The bride and groom would stand facing each other, cross their arms, and take hold of each other’s hands or wrists
In front of family and friends, they would pledge themselves to each other in marriage

The witnesses would take a strip of cloth and tie the wrists together
This would make them officially married for a year and a day – giving them adequate time to make their vows before a minister or priest
If they didn’t run into a priest in that amount of time, they would renew their commitment in the same way for another year – and maybe they would run into a priest in that time
The practice became less common as the church grew, and access to a minister or priest became easier

We have a number of phrases that come from that ancient ceremony
Tying the knot
Taking his hand in marriage
Getting hitched
Renewing your vows

Every recorded culture has had their wedding ceremonies
They all include a solemn pledge or vow of faithfulness made before a group of witnesses – family, friends, the local community

“I take you to be my husband or wife, to live together with you in a holy marriage
In sickness or in good health, in poverty or wealth,
I will love you, honor you, obey you
And forsaking all others, I will be faithful to you as long as we both shall live”

As the group of friends and family cheer
God himself acknowledges the vow
Joining the couple together in a sacred union
There is no wedding ceremony, however simple or grand, that God does not participate in
Marriage is sacred to him, and the commitment made between a couple is recognized by Him – whether done in a church or a back yard
Whether witnessed by a minister or a judge

God believes in faithfulness, he created us to live by a principle of purity
It is a part of our makeup, regardless of our religious beliefs or traditions

The promise of sexual faithfulness is so sacred to God
That breaking it is the one reason he accepts for divorce
God doesn’t like divorce for any reason
But he makes the concession to tolerate it for someone whose mate is unfaithful to them sexually

Matthew 19:9 “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, expect for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Those are strong and explicit words
They are God’s plan for a lifetime of fulfillment and intimacy between a man and woman
Those two become one in this spiritual, emotional and physical union
Individually and powerfully united by God himself

Separating that union is not man’s privilege
You don’t take something that God has joined and separate it

In all of our debates about the sacredness of life – abortion, euthanasia, suicide, the death penalty
There is nowhere in Scripture this kind of clear and specific language about any of them
Marriage is God’s domain

What makes a marriage succeed?
How do you find God’s ideal for intimacy between two people?
Here is God’s advice

A healthy marriage is built on two people who are experts on each other’s needs and desires
God knew that he made men and women very different
In the beginning, he called Eve the helper or completer
She was intended to be the things Adam was not
She thinks differently, reacts differently, and communicates differently
Nowhere is that more evident than in a couple’s physical relationship

So God’s ideal is that a husband and wife become experts on each other’s needs and desires
It won’t be intuitive
It will have to be learned

Men have sexual thoughts often during the day, some have suggested they think about sex as often as every 20 minutes
Women can go for hours, even days, without a sexual thought
That doesn’t mean that men are perverted or obsessed with sex and that women are cold and unfeeling
It is the natural way that God made them

Men are aroused visually, and women respond to touch and affection
Women who don’t understand that can be sending a message to a man by the way she dresses
that she never intended
Men who don’t understand how a woman thinks and responds can’t understand why she doesn’t get the message that he wants her affection

I believe there is tremendous help to be found in getting a book about the sexual relationship between and husband and wife, and reading it together
When you find one written by a couple with strong moral values, you begin an education process that will add to your intimacy
Read together, and talk about the subjects that are brought up
A healthy marriage is built on becoming an expert on your mates needs and desires

A healthy marriage is also built on an acceptance of shared ownership!

I Corinthians 7:1-5 “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife."

We hear the message regularly that “a woman has a right to decide what happens to her own body”
God defines ownership differently in marriage
He asks a married couple to share the ownership of their body with their mate

At a very young age girls learn the power they have over boys with their body
It becomes an instinctive way of interacting with men
Some use it more than others
Some wives withhold sex to gain power over their husbands

At a very young age boys learn the power they have over girls with romance
Some men withhold affection and romance to gain power over their wives
They find that anger and distance make their wife scared and anxious to please

That selfish behavior destroys intimacy
Share the ownership of your body to your mate

A healthy marriage is also built by having the character to run from trouble
You will be tempted to break your marriage vow
Pornography will attract you, a needy or helpful friend will make themselves available

Affairs don’t begin in a bedroom, they begin over a cup of coffee
They gain momentum between two people who lack the character to keep the vow of faithfulness they made to their mate before God
That compromise brings pain that lasts a lifetime, and affects the lives of your children and grandchildren

There will be few greater joys in life than the companionship and intimacy of a healthy marriage
Take the advice of the one who created marriage - faithfulness is the secret of intimacy!

The Purity Principle: My First Kiss

Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.
- Song of Songs 1:2 (NLT)

At the end of their first date, the young man took her home and walked her to the door Something about the night gave him courage and he decided to go for that important first kiss
He leaned with his hand against the wall and giving her his best smile he asked, “How about a
goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's going to be awake at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody watching, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease? . . ."

The porch light went on, scaring them both
The front door opened, and the girl's younger sister stood there in her pajamas, her hair a mess
In a sleepy voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But whatever you do tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"

There is some definite electricity when the right two people find each other
I wouldn’t always call it love at first sight, but it is real
And it is exciting

Of all the things God created in those first six days – the beauty of nature, animals, sunsets, man
He followed up with a pretty great add-on a few days later
As Genesis 2 tells the story - God created Adam on the sixth day, and not long afterward, created Eve to be his wife

When God brought Eve to Adam, He introduced them to a physical gift that has brought intimacy between a man and a woman!
Accepting God’s advice on how to use that gift has been our challenge!

There aren’t any details given about how they spent those first days together
If God taught them to touch, to kiss - or if it was just an instinctive action
I am sure that it was very powerful

What we do know is that their sexual relationship was a gift from God
It tripled to their attraction to each other
They found great joy in touching and loving, being together
We use the word “intimacy” to describe their relationship

It means “To share with another person emotionally and deeply”
Someone called it “To be connected at the soul”
To know and feel each other’s heart
To be able to discuss any and every subject freely
To feel completely comfortable with opening your heart to another
You can laugh together, cry together, share each other’s pain

It is possible to feel that way toward another person without ever touching
In fact, that is the purpose and design of dating – to get to know each other’s soul
Hours on the phone, writing your thoughts in letters or on the internet
Every chance you get, you are together – you don’t want to be apart
Soon you are talking about a life-time commitment and getting married

In marriage, you share nearly everything – a name, a home, a bed, a future – just not a
toothbrush
Physical intimacy becomes a part of your life together
In God’s words, “two become one” - total intimacy – emotional, spiritual, sexual

Here is some advice from the giver of sex...
Directions from the creator of intimacy
Here is God’s design for “normal”

One man, one woman, together for life And a commitment to save the sexual union until after the "I do's" are said

I was talking with a friend who is dating someone regularly, starting to talk about marriage
He had a conversation with a co-worker who asked if we were living together
When he said no, they were confused
“How will you know if this is the right person?”
Would you buy a car without taking it out for a test drive?
Would you take a job without going in the office to look things over first?
How do you know if you are compatible?
Instead of poking holes in the common logic, let me tell you what God calls normal

Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

One man, one woman, together for life
You will have good friends, of the same gender or the opposite gender
You will have a special relationship with your parents
But the plan is that you find a person of the opposite gender and commit yourself a lifetime
together

Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Once you are together, don’t separate, don’t divorce
Keep going, whatever the crisis

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage be kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

Marriage is honorable, and 100% sexual purity is the way that works
Anything else that you do will bring God’s judgment, his discipline

He is very clear because he doesn’t want you to miss out
Find someone of the opposite gender
Leave your parents, get married, and stay faithful to each other until death
Boring? No! Instead God's "normal" is incredibly powerful

It is the foundation of intimacy
The recipe that works
If you need references, there are lots of them around you
Make a note about who is happy and who is still searching
Watch the couples who have lived together without being married
They have a basic disrespect for themselves and each other

There is a significant difference between “new” and “used”
No matter what your commitment level or love for each other, it is difficult to erase the “used” feeling between two people who have already been intimate with someone else
It will affect the rest of your life with them

The secret to passion and intimacy is following the advice of the one who created us
His “normal” is the pathway to intimacy.

I Prayed for this Child

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” (Hannah) - I Samuel 1:27-28

In the hill country about twenty miles north of Jerusalem, a young priest named Elkanah was raising his family
He had two wives – Hannah (whose name means “grace”), and Peninnah (whosename means “pearl”)
We don’t know why he had two wives, or chose to have two mother-in-laws
Maybe Hannah’s inability to have children prompted the second marriage

Peninnah had several children – she was a baby machine, but Hannah had none
And that issue dominated her life
Infertility is a very difficult burden to bear
Mother’s Day, Baby Dedication day, kid’s birthday parties
People smile at you and say well-meant things like, “When are you going to have a baby?”
It feels like a knife in your heart

Peninnah saw the look of pain in Hannah’s eyes when the subject came up, and she became merciless in her comments about Hannah’s inability to have children
Elkanah wasn’t much help – he was like a typical insensitive husband
“Sweetheart, why are you crying? Eat something.
Is it the baby thing again? Aren’t I worth more to you than ten sons?”

Guys, a little clue about talking to your wife
When she is upset, what she needs is someone to listen, not to give advice
You want to fix her problems, come up with a great solution
You don’t solve emotional problems with logic

“You can’t have babies? How about if I marry another woman and you can love her kids?
There, that will solve the problem! All right, stop the crying, I will ask Peninnah tomorrow!”

Emotional problems need a listener, not a solver

The family had a yearly tradition to visit the tabernacle in Shiloh
In one way it was an unbearable trip for Hannah – the kid thing would be brought up again
But in another way, it was the one chance a year Hannah had to pray at the temple
If God had closed her womb, as every religious expert seemed to think, then He was her best hope for opening it

She got up midway through the dinner and made her way to the temple
Through the gate, and past Eli the high priest
She found a quiet place, and began to pour out her heart
Bitterness and anger turned to pleading
Requests turned to bargains
“God, I’m so miserable. Please. Give me a son. I will give him back to you. He can serve you in this place. He can be all yours – no razor will touch his hair orbeard, no wine. Please God.”

What Hannah did not know
What Hannah could not know
Was that God was listening,
He had blessing ahead of her that she would never had imagined

Eli walked back into the temple and saw Hannah praying
She wasn’t praying out loud, but she was in obvious pain as she prayed
He thought she was drunk
“Don’t get drunk and come in here again”
She looked up at him through her tears and tried to understand why he was angry
“Oh, I’m not drinking. I’m beyond despair. I’m just praying.”
Eli looked at her thoughtfully, and said, “Go in peace. God will give you what you asked for”

Hope, blessed unexplainable hope
Hannah sang all the way back to the feast, sat down and began to eat like someonewho hadn’t eaten for days
Her eyes sparkled, she sang all the way home
That night as they were getting ready for bed she had that look in her eye that made Elkanah forget about everything else going on in his life
And, Hannah got pregnant

She named her little boy, Samuel, which means “I have heard from God”
For the next few years, Hannah didn’t go to the temple with her family, but stayed home with Samuel
When he was weaned, she packed all of his things into a bag, and told Elkanah about her promise and her plans
And she told her son goodbye
Literally, faithfully, she gave her son to God

If you have young children, then you have heard the statement, “Enjoy them now. They grow up all too fast.
”Someday they will move out (hopefully)
Begin a family of their own
Stop asking you for advice, stop checking to see what is in the refrigerator
You will be in the background of their lives
Still important, but not most important
When you die, they will mourn your passing, and go on

It felt like a death when Hannah walked her little boy to the temple that morning
He couldn’t understand her tears
He knew she was afraid, but he didn’t know what about
Hannah’s heart was breaking inside her
Giving up Samuel wasn’t the easy thing, but it was the right thing
How would he make it without her
Who would teach him the things he needed to learn as he grew up
Did God know how valuable this little guy was?
Yes he did

Solomon Rosenberg and his family were arrested and taken to a concentration camp
His mother and father, his wife and two boys were all with him
They had heard the terrible stories about what we now call the Holocaust
Life was cheap, the weak were taken away and never seen again
If you could work, you were worth something to the German guards
If you couldn’t, you exterminated

First they took his parents
And he knew that his youngest son David would be the next to be taken – he was small and frail
Every day Samuel would return to the barracks after a day of hard labor and search for his wife and boys
When he found them they would embrace and thank God for another day of life

Then the day came when he returned and didn’t see those familiar faces
Finally he saw his oldest son seated in a corner, sobbing
“Where is David?”
“They took him. He couldn’t walk back, and so they took him.”
“Where is your mother?”
“When they came for David, he was afraid, so mom took his hand and went with him”

There is no love greater than a mother feels for her children
And there is no risk more worth taking, than to relinquish them to the only One who loves them more than you
To offer them as Hannah offered Samuel
"God, I prayed for this child, and you granted me what I asked of you. So now I give him to you. For his whole life he will be given over to you.”